Dear Jeffrey,

Times have been bad for some weeks, I have lost everything I have ever had, my house, my car, my money. I am now living my life on a stone sofa that I found in the middle of a park, it isn't the best but it's better than nothing. Whenever someone walks past me, they look at me with a face of disgust. I need to get out of this hell-hole. If you could be kind enough could you let me stay round your epic house

Please I need to get out of here

Yours faithfully,

Josh Walton,