Now what do I need? I had everything in life. Well, everything I needed; friends, family, wife, children, money, job, house, hobbies. Still something nags at the inside of me. When Magda (My wife) called me down for dinner I didn't I just stared blankly at the screen of my Apple computer. Magda called again. I just couldn't place what I needed. I felt wretched, horrible, like I could never carry living without solving this situation. I decided to go to bed, eventually . Maybe I would find luck there. No. The last I saw of my life was a window, screaming people and then. Darkness. Nothingness. Numbness.