I was in a public toilet

when I was attacked by a hair-dryer.

PHOOOOOO!

I had walked past it calmly.

I hadn’t said anything provocative.

I didn’t stare at it.

I didn’t disrespect it

I didn’t say, ‘Look at you stuck on the wall

Nowhere to go, nothing to do

Who are you? Johnny No-mates?’

I did none of these things.

But still it leapt at me

Pumping out hot air:

PHOOOOOO!

Roaring in my face:

PHOOOOOO!

Roughing up my hair:

PHOOOOOO!

I said, Excuse ME!

And it said:

PHOOOOOO!