The Spanish Armada
By Ondine Farlam
Blue class
Dramatis personae
Philip II, King of Spain
Medina Sedonia, Duke and commander of the Spanish fleet
Francisco, A Spanish capitan
Juan, Carlos, Spanish sailors
Manuel, cheeky Spanish sailor
Elizabeth I, Queen of England
Sir Francis Drake, pirate and commander of the English fleet
Lord Howard, Another English commander
George, Robert, English sailors
Jolly Jack Tar, cheeky English sailor
Thiago and Marianela, Portuguese locals
John and Ann, English locals
Patrick and Colleen, Irish locals
King Philip II of Spain
ACT I
Scene 1, The Royal Palace in Madrid, Spain, July 1588
Philip II: Gentlemen, the time has come. Enough of these heretic Protestants! It is time for mighty Spain to save Europe and return England to the true religion. I would like you to go to England and make it Catholic once more, at any cost! Sedonia, I am putting you in charge of the Armada. We have 130 ships, 30,000 soldiers and 2,500 guns. England has hardly any. So beating them shouldn't be that much of a problem. We are powerful, seafaring Spain!
Sedonia: Your majesty. It's a great honour. Are you sure you want me to be Commander? Well, I, I will not let Spain down! (Retreats, walking backwards, bowing and shaking his head)
Philip II: Ha! That will teach Elizabeth of England to turn down the king of Spain in marriage. After all, I was good enough for her awful sister. I must rule England for Spain, and for the holy Pope! And for the money he has promised me!
Queen Elizabeth knights Sir Francis Drake
Scene 2, Hampton Court Palace, London, England
Elizabeth: Well, my people seem to be coming around to the new religion nicely. As long as it continues I don't need to marry Philip of Spain, and can rule alone! I will be the Virgin Queen, and with all those lovely new paintings of me looking so saintly that are touring the land for the people to see, I will replace the Virgin Mary in the people's hearts and minds. Another clever plan of mine! I may be a mere woman, but I am the daughter of a king, and the king of England at that!
Francis Drake enters
Drake: Majesty, I have been at sea, and seen off all those Spanish sailors. I have jewels to present you that I, er, freed from the Spanish at Cadiz.
Elizabeth: Oh Francis, really, you shouldn't have, King Philip will be cross... Ooh, pearls, my absolute favourites! I now name you Sir Francis Drake. And I will put you in charge of the English fleet. After all, it is tiny compared to the Spanish Armada. So if there is any trouble, I will need someone cunning like you who can beat them. Now, after all your travels, go and take some rest.
Drake: Thank you, your Majesty. I will away to Plymouth, to check out the English ships and play some bowls.
Elizabeth: Bowls?
The port of Lisbon in the 16th century
Scene 3, A Spanish ship in the port of Lisbon, August 1588
Duke Medina Sedonia is being sick over the side of the ship
Sedonia: Bleeeuuuurrggghh!
Manuel: Can I help you, sir?
Sedonia: Bleeeuuuurrggghh!
Manuel: Shall I get a bucket, Sir? Or are you happy vomiting into the sea, Sir?
Francisco: That's quite enough of your impertinence, Manuel. Go and check the supplies on all the ships and make sure we have enought port. We sail for England at dawn.
Manuel: Alright, alright, Capitan, Sir. (Aside to the audience) But what is the use of a commander who has never been to sea before?
Portuguese locals Thiago and Marianela wave off the ships
Thiago: Well, we have done very well selling 14,000 barrels of wine to the Spanish masters. Not forgetting all the custard tarts. We are rich from the trade!
Marianela: Let's drink and dance to celebrate!
Sir Francis Drake playing bowls at Plymouth as the Armada advances
Act 2
Scene 1, A Plymouth bowling green by the English Channel
John: Where is Sir Francis? Quick, Sir! The Spanish fleet are coming!
Ann: It is true, Sir. I have seen the beacons people have lit all along the way here from the Scilly isles to warn us. Look here they come, there must be a hundred or more in a brilliant crescent formation!
Drake: Ha, ha! I haven't been a pirate all these years without learning a thing or two. The tide isn't quite right, so there's no rush. And I have a cunning plan to break their formation. Howard, send for the fire ships. I'll finish my game of bowls.
Howard: Very good, Sir Francis. Oh, I say – well played!
The Spanish Armada crescent formation
Scene 2, A Spanish galleon on the English Channel
Capitan Francisco: How now, Duke? Are you well?
Sedonia: Ew, er, never better, Sir. Never better. It all seems to be going swimmingly. Look at our brilliant crescent formation. Any moment now we can fire from our ships and hit only the enemy, not ourselves in silly accidents! And to think I was worried, and sent a letter to the king saying so. Eww.
Manuel: Sir, Sir! The English devils have sent fire to destroy us!
Francisco: What are you talking about now, Manuel?
Manuel: Capitan! The English! They have sent burning ships to destroy us!
Francisco looks through his telescope
Capitan Francisco: Juan! Carlos! Turn the galleon around! The English have sent ships of fire! We must get out of the way!
Juan: We are trying, Sir, but our ships are so heavy they take time to turn.
Carlos: And we don't have time!
Francisco: Cut the anchor cables, so we can make haste away. If those ships hit us, we will explode, with all this ammunition we have on board!
Sedonia: But we mustn't lose our formation, or all will be lost!
Manuel: Oh no, no! Now our ships are scattering everywhere. I thought they said this would be easy! And now a storm is coming! Lord have mercy on us!
English fire ships attack the Spanish fleet
Scene 3, An English ship in the English Channel, during a storm
George: Whoah! Look at the Spanish scattering in fear! And they can't control those lumbering big ships of theirs.
Robert: Ha, ha! Let's hit them from our little boats. They are sitting ducks!
Drake: Well, there's nothing like using the brain to beat the brawn! We seem to be doing rather well, what with our cunning plan of fire ships and nippy little boats! They're dropping like flies!
Howard: The weather is helping us, too, Drake. We English are used to terrible weather like this. Not so the Spanish!
Drake: Ah, I love the smell of rain in the morning! It smells like... victory!
Robert: Did you know the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain?
Jack Tar: Who cares about that? There's treasure in those Spanish ships, Sir. Jewelled swords!
Drake: Really, Jack? Show me! Howard, you deal with the war, will you, old man?
A Spanish galleon is destroyed
Scene 4, A Spanish galleon on the North Sea, during a storm
Francisco: I fear we have lost so many ships, and so many men! We thought it would be so easy, but all is lost, lost!
Sedonia: Those of us who are left must turn south and sail home - in shame. What will the king say?
Manuel: We can't turn south, I am afraid, Sir. The English have blocked us in their filthy English Channel! And the storm has pushed us up into the North Sea.
Francisco: Whatever the king thinks, we must get the remaining men home. We owe them that much. We must head north and sail all around the island of Britain to defeat this latest cunning plan of that pirate Drake and the clever fighter, Howard. Oh, how I long to see Spain again..
The Armada Portrait of Queen Elizabeth
ACT 3
Scene 1, Hampton Court Palace, London, England
Elizabeth: I knew I could rely on you, Sir Francis, you are clever. But gracious, we have won such a mighty victory. How many men did we lose?
Drake: A mere 100, Maam! The Spanish lost many thousands, and counting...
Elizabeth: Hm, you see the only problem is that now we have lots of sailors still to pay for winning the battle! I simply don't have the money. I know! Let's leave them on the ships. They'll probably die of starvation and scurvy and such!
Drake: Hm, look Maam, at the jewelled swords I freed from the Spanish ships, intended for English Catholic nobles to fight against your majesty!
Elizabeth: Ah, more treasures! How lovely, you naughty boy!
Howard: (aside to the audience) I will pay those of my men that survive from my own pocket, and play no part in this pennypinching scandal of the Queen's!
Shipwreck at the Irish coast
Scene 2, A wild coast in Galway, Ireland, September 1588
Juan and Carlos carry the injured Manuel from their ship
Juan: Easy does it, Manuel! We have reached land. So few of us are left, after storms, disease, starvation! We have to stop and find food and help for you, if we are to live and have hope of seeing our beloved families in Spain again! Help me with him, Carlos, he is badly injured!
Carlos: Look Catholic crosses! Thank God, we are in Ireland! I hear the Irish are very hospitable, especially to fellow Catholics like us. We could be in luck - finally! Hey there, help us!
Patrick: Who are these creatures speaking in foreign tongues and looking so poor and ragged? I don't trust them an inch!
Colleen: I know not who they are, but these black-haired souls are sons of the Lord as are we all, and they need our help!
Patrick: I'll not help these devils! (He kills Juan and Carlos with his hunting knife)
Colleen: (throws herself across Manuel) Patrick! What are you doing? These men are refugees, seeking shelter! The Lord may forgive you, but I will not! I was to marry you, but not now! (To Manuel) Sir, come with me and I will help you.
Manuel: Oh no, no! Juan! Carlos! After all this, to have my last remaining friends killed by a man who has no part in the war, and I am too weak to avenge them. What terrible things I have seen! Woe is me! I thank God for this brave Irish lady.
Colleen: Come with me, Sir, and I will bathe your wounds and give you food.
Manuel: After all the horrors I have lived through, I see in your kindness there is hope for humanity yet. I thank the Lord, for I am alive and will live to tell the tale of all I have seen. Viva Espana!
The end