Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf

As soon as wolf began to feel,

That he would like a decent meal,

he went and knocked on Grandma's door,

When Grandma opened it she saw,

The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin,

And Wolfie said, 'May I come in?'

Poor Grandmamma was terrified,

'He's going to eat me up', she cried,

And she was absoulutely right,

He ate her up in just one bite.

But Grandmamma was small and tough,

And Wolfie wailed,'That's not enough!

I have not yet begun to feel,

That I have had a decent meal!'

He ran around the kitchen yelping,

'I have to have a second helping!'

Then added with a frightful leer,

'I'm therefore going to wait right here,

Till Little Miss Riding Hood,

Comes home from walking in the wood.'

He quickly put on Grandma's clothes,

(Of course he hadn't eaten those),

He dressed himself in coat and hat,

He put on shoes, and after that,

He even brushed and combed his hair,

Then sat himself in Grandma's chair.

In came the girl in red,

She stopped. She stared. And then she said,

'What great big ears you have Grandma',

'All the better to hear you with,

The Wolf replied.

'What great big eyes you have Grandma',

Little Red Riding Hood said.

'All the better for seeing you with',

The Wolf replied.

He sat there watching her and smiled,

He thought, 'I'm going to eat this child',

Compared with her old Grandmamma,

She's going to taste like caviar.

Then Little Red Riding Hood said,

' But Grandma what a lovely great big

furry coat you have got on'.

'That's wrong!'cried Wolf.

Have you forgot

To tell me what big teeth I've got?

Ah, no matter what you say,

I'm going to eat you anyway.

The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.

She takes a pistol from her knickers.

She aims it at the creature's head,

And bang, bang, bang, she shoots him dead.

A few weeks later, in the wood,

I came across Miss Riding Hood.

But what a change! No coat of red,

No silly hood upon her head.

She said, 'Hello and do please note,

My lovely, furry Wolfskin coat.

I like Roald Dahl because:

His poems are witty,

He twists classical stories,

His poems have morals.